Sad Smile


Sad Smile

She smiles even though she feels like crying; willing the rogue tear away. She breathes deeply in a futile attempt to control the built up emotion; straining against the pent up frustration. She can feel it coming but is fearful; fearful of the impact that a release of such intensity can have on her, on her mind, on her body and on those around her. She rises slowly; still controlling her breathing and walks the length of the room repeating her mantra as she breathes.
I have the confidence to do this;
I have the confidence to do this.

She repeats this ten times before coming to a halt in front of the mirror. She says the mantra one more time before taking a huge breath, she opens her eyes slowly as she exhales; forcing herself to look at the image that stands before her.
I have the confidence to this she says again.

She looks at the beautiful creature before her, this is the first time she has noticed how beautiful the person is. The peaceful gleam in her eye; the honey colour of her skin sprinkled with a distinguished blemish here and there. A cute little button nose quite easily at home in such a unique look. Her lips were full and soft and her cheeks big and rosy. She has those sorts of cheeks that rise with every smile and dimple ever so slightly. Her smile is big, warm and genuine; the caring and affectionate side of her character easily shines through when she smiles.

But underneath all that, there is a discreet hint of sadness, a longing that can only be viewed by the most discerning viewer. She longs to be held and not groped. She longs to be stroked and not groped. She has a longing to be ensconced in a huge bear hug and be kissed gently on the forehead, whilst being told how much she is appreciated loved and valued.

She is a very beautiful woman, with a beautiful soul and a beautiful heart. Her aura has many willing to be with her and around her; yet the one thing she wants from the person she wants is not within her reach. She takes another deep breath and refocuses on the woman in front of her; she smiles as she reaches out to stroke her face.

I really appreciate you; I really love you and I really do value you and everything you do for me and for others. You’re the most beautiful person I know both inside and out and I will always be here for you. However, I really do think it is time that you regain focus and start doing things for you; put yourself first for a change and most important of all love yourself. Love the same beautiful person I have grown to love, believe in yourself and your dreams.


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