In-Flight Waffle
Right about now, I feel like I’m on top of the world, thanks to my mate Hennessy! Although, I guess I’m not that far from being on top of the world, as I sit on my Virgin flight to Barbados at 39,000 thousand feet in the air.
I’m trying to write, I had grand plans to write for the duration of this 8 hours and 9 minutes flight, but if I’m being honest, I am proper distracted! I paid for extra legroom but still feel cramped; note to self, book premium or above for any long haul flight, it really is the only way to fly. Looking around at those without the extra legroom however, I realise I am less cramped than they are. Again, note to self, book premium or above when flying long haul!
This is the second time I’ve switched on my laptop, opened up my work in progress and attempted to knock out a chapter or two but as I said, I am proper distracted. I’m distracted by the uncomfortable seat, the people walking up and down, the roar of the engine, the in flight entertainment and the throbbing in my feet; not to mention the throbbing in my clit. I snoozed during one of the films and woke up feeling exceptionally horny, my clit was on fire and if there were another solo traveller of the male variety, I would have invited him to join me in a little mile high activity. Looking around at the minimal talent on this flight though, I don’t think there is a traveller on board that is as upfront as me. The man in front looks like he’d be up for anything, especially with the amount of miniatures he has consumed; even his wife looks like she would be up for a little extra marital activity! Sadly they are not my type, not that I have a type!
So at the moment, I am watching a film called ‘How To be Single’ the same film I fell asleep to but decided to restart it when I woke up, as it caused me to laugh out loud before and after my little snooze. It is very funny and reminds me of the novel I am currently writing; speaking of which, I should really get back to it!
Did I mention I’m a little lean? I have my hip flask but that’s in my suitcase, but the Hennessy I bought in Duty Free is sorting me out neatly and the lovely (unattentive) stewardess has just bought me a tired looking cheese and tomato wrap; yes, it’s time for “afternoon tea”. Did I mention I’m a little lean?
Before I tuck into my afternoon tea, I’m going to finish my drink (and then poor another), adjust my bra and stretch. BRB!
Afternoon tea has been consumed and washed down with a cuppa, the movie has finished and I have restarted Deadpool; yes, I fell asleep during that too. What can I say, I’ve been up since the crack and almost finished the bottle of Henny, so I think I’m more than entitled to snooze throughout this very long flight.
Random distracted comment – this guy who could be really cute has fucked up his potential of joining the mile high club, by inking his face. Ok, I take that back. I’ve just had a proper look at him and he is nowhere near mile high club material; my hand can do a much better job! I digress…
So my second attempt at watching Deadpool is flopping, as I’m writing this blog and will eventually resume knocking out a chapter or two. My grand plan was to actually finish writing the novel but as we know, Rome was NOT built in a day so how the hell did I expect to finish my novel in eight hours and nine minutes..?
OMG…didn’t the stewardess (Lucy) attempt to take my glass that still had a slight covering of brandy… Speaking of which, I think it’s time to drain the bottle; yes it’s almost finished which must only mean I soon reach. “I’m not leaving until de rum done”…well in this case the brandy!
Oooh the bird has just said we’re beginning our descent into Barbados, that I must switch off my devices and take this opportunity to use the restroom, if only there wasn’t a queue… The man in front has taken her message to heart and changed down into shorts and a t-shirt…big up!
That’s me for now; see you on the other side!
